Maybe you’ve been together 10 years and you’re finally at a point where you’re ready for the next stage; or maybe you’ve been together 10 months but you just know they’re the One. No matter how you came to the conclusion, you know you’re ready to get engaged; now, the only question left is how to get your boyfriend to propose (that is, if you’ve decided you don’t want to propose to him yourself )!
Let’s be clear: there are no magical tricks that solve the question of how to get him to propose, no quick-fix formulas that you can enact. As you can probably imagine, the answer to how to get your boyfriend to propose is not to coerce him; surely if romcoms have taught us anything it’s that relationships are built on honesty and trust, and anything that tries to force his hand is only going to backfire in the long run.
But having said that, there’s definitely some things you can do to signal to him that it might be time to pop the question. In essence, you need to let him know you’re ready, and check that he knows he is too! With that in mind, here’s our guide on how to get him to propose:
Check that he is ready
The first step on our guide to how to get your boyfriend to propose is: to make sure he’s ready to do so. As we said above, there’s no way to force these things, and sometimes all they need is time. It might not be something that he’s given much thought to before – not because he doesn’t want to, but just because society doesn’t put as much pressure on men as it does women – so make sure you’re both at a point where you know he’s ready to pop the question.
Ensure he sees his future with you in it
Another way to increase the chances of a proposal is to make sure that when he pictures his future, he pictures you as part of it. Engagements are big, long-term, life-changing commitments — that’s what makes them so exciting! — but it does also mean that they’re one jigsaw piece in a larger puzzle of what the future holds. For example, when he talks about the future as he sees it – does he talk in terms of ‘we’ and ‘our’, or is it ‘I’ and ‘my’?
Make sure that you know his views on engagements and marriage
One of the key answers to the question of how to get your boyfriend to propose is to make sure you know his views on engagements and marriage. Do you know how he imagines his proposal going? (Is it at a specific place or significant time?) Do you know what being a husband looks like for him? (Do you know how old he wants to be?) Do you know at what point he plans to get married? (Chances are he won’t have a specific age in mind, for example, but he probably has an ideal level of financial stability, even if he’s not quantified it consciously.) If not, it’s definitely worth broaching these subjects before you get excited about a ring in the near future.
Let him know your taste in rings
It’s a cliche, but it’s true – dropping hints about engagement rings is a universally acknowledged way of signalling to your partner that you’re ready for them to buy one for you. Of course, this doesn’t directly translate to a method for how to get him to propose, but if all he’s waiting for is a sign, then this definitely constitutes one! It doesn’t have to be super obvious; it could be a passing comment as you’re walking past a jewellery shop, or sharing your opinion on a friend or family member’s engagement ring.
Let him know your views on engagement in general
Another hint it wouldn’t hurt to drop is your view on engagement. Sure, you might like an emerald set ring – but does he know you want to get engaged at all, or might you just mean for a special milestone birthday? Again, these hints don’t have to be super obvious and out of the blue; but don’t take for granted that he knows what you’re thinking and wanting if you’ve not vocalised it.
Have the conversation
Along these lines, one of the simplest approaches for how to get your boyfriend to propose is: to tell him exactly how you’re feeling. If you’ve moved from thinking “I’d be so happy to be engaged right now” to “We’re still not engaged and I don’t know why” it might be time to sit down with your partner and just ask them. It might feel taboo, but there’s nothing wrong with having an honest conversation that affects both of your lives!
If you’ve tried the advice on this guide on how to get him to propose and your partner hasn’t yet popped the question, may we suggest proposing to him? The days when women weren’t allowed to propose – or were only allowed to on leap years – are thankfully long one, and sometimes if you want something doing, you have to do it yourself. We’ve put together a guide to help women propose to men here .