Once the search is over and you’ve met the man of your dreams, you might be wondering how to propose to your boyfriend. Now that gay marriage and same-sex partnerships are legal in over 29 countries, the number of gay couples choosing to tie the knot continues to rise each year.
If you’re at this stage and wondering, “how can I propose to my boyfriend?,” read on for our 5 top tips for planning the perfect proposal for him.
Have you talked about proposing to your boyfriend?
A marriage proposal rarely comes completely out of the blue, as most couples will have discussed their views on marriage. But before you ask your boyfriend to marry you, you do need to be sure that he wants to get married. For some men, the idea of marriage can be bound up with all kinds of ideas around conventions and may not be something that he wants. And while surprising your partner with a proposal can be an amazingly romantic gesture, it could backfire if marriage is something he really isn’t comfortable with. Make sure you’ve had the marriage chat before you start thinking about how to propose to your boyfriend!
What kind of proposal does your boyfriend want?
Remember: it’s all about him, not you. There are many things to consider when planning how to propose to your boyfriend, including the location, the date and, most importantly, how you actually choose to pop the question.
Many couples take advantage of holidays throughout the year as lovely milestones for proposals. Valentine’s Day, Christmas Day and New Year’s Eve remain popular for popping the question, as well as birthdays and anniversaries.
For some, the best way to propose to your boyfriend could be when they’re curled up on the sofa enjoying a takeaway and their favourite TV show. For others, this once-in-a-lifetime moment needs to be marked with an epic, unique proposal that’s totally Instagram-worthy! Think your boyfriend is the latter type? You’ll definitely want to read our next tip.
Do you want to use a proposal planner?
If you are feeling a bit daunted about how to plan a spectacular proposal for your boyfriend, it’s time to find a proposal planner. A relatively new addition to the wedding scene, proposal planners are on hand to bring your ideas – no matter how big, dramatic or ever so slightly bonkers – to life.
Emily Andrew, a professional proposal planner based in the UK, facilitates numerous proposals every year, including many from the LGBTQ+ community. “A recent favourite was where the proposal took place at dusk on a beach,” she reveals. “The couple was surrounded by candlelight, flowers and balloons, and the tide was lapping around their feet. Afterwards, they enjoyed a mini-break in a converted windmill which added even more romance and uniqueness!”
You may feel nervous about how to propose to your boyfriend, especially if you have something extravagant in mind with lots of elements to coordinate. Using a proposal planner, however, can ensure all these details are taken care of, meaning you just have to ask the question at the right time!
Do you want a double proposal?
When it comes to weddings, most societal traditions are associated with heterosexual norms, and even in the 2020s, it’s most commonly the man who proposes to the woman. So how does a gay couple navigate this and decide who’s the proposer and proposee?
The answer that many gay couples have come up with is the double proposal. This beautiful idea has emerged from the LGBTQ community since the legalisation of same-sex marriage. Also called a partnership proposal, a double proposal is where you both propose, either on the same day or at a different time.
A double proposal can be empowering, taking away any burden or preconception about who should be doing the proposing, how to propose to your boyfriend, and celebrating your partnership’s true equality.
There are several ways you can do a double proposal for men. If you’ve already discussed marriage, you’ll probably know whether your boyfriend wants to be proposed to or would prefer to propose himself. It could be that you both want to be involved in planning your proposal and ask each other at the same time. Or you could decide that you both want to plan a proposal for the other, and the timing of each will be a lovely surprise.
Of course, double proposals can happen completely by accident, as this video shows!
Do you want to give your boyfriend an engagement ring?
As we’ve already discussed, the LGBTQ+ community forges its own traditions around marriage. Although a man traditionally gives an engagement ring to a woman, many gay men do exchange engagement rings. According to the wedding website The Knot, gay men are spending more and more on engagement rings, with the average ring in the US now costing $5,719.
There are so many gorgeous ring designs for men out there, ranging from simple metal bands tThere are so many gorgeous ring designs for men out there, ranging from simple metal bands to rings set with diamonds or other precious stones. If your taste is similar to your boyfriend’s and you both want to wear a ring, opt for a matching pair.
Not sure about your boyfriend’s taste when it comes to ring design? Get a temporary proposal ring for the actual proposal and then pick out the main engagement ring together.
Of course, you don’t have to give a ring at all. Other jewellery, such as a necklace, can have just as much meaning. If jewellery isn’t for you, why not buy a truly special painting or piece of art? Or for the ultimate in commitment, there’s always a tattoo!